If you’re trying to get to a certain destination in your car and you’re not paying attention, have no sense of direction, or you’re listening to the person in the passenger seat tell you where to go even though they have no idea what they’re talking about, you’re inevitably going to get lost. You’re going to end up taking wrong turns, finding dead ends, and you might get really frustrated and give up altogether.
If I’m being honest with myself, I don’t feel like I’ve followed my own path for the majority of my life. I’ve usually found myself being attracted to all the wrong people, seeking for answers and validation outside myself, and having no solid plan and wondering why I feel so lost, empty, and confused. I’ve sought out comfort and acceptance in negative places even though I knew deep down that I didn’t belong there. I tried and tried again to fit into this box of “normality”, whatever that may be. I kept finding myself in these situations where I felt defeated and I wondered why I just couldn’t attract the right people or feel truly happy for once. I realize now that it’s because I wasn’t even being true to myself.
Even though the Universe has showed me time and time again that alcohol just isn’t meant for me, God forbid I gave up something that was deemed so “normal” in society. Even though I know that I’m an emotional, sensitive, and caring person, I’ve tried hiding it and putting up a front since it’s not “cool” to have feelings and be transparent about how you feel anymore. I’ve ignored a lot of my real interests and hobbies because I was too worried about doing what everybody else was doing. It all sounds so silly to me now but it’s been my reality, and I know I’m not alone. A lot of people just don’t take the time to look in the mirror and check themselves to acknowledge what they’re going through. I often recognize similar qualities in other people even though they don’t recognize it in themselves.
It’s never been so evident to me how important it is to follow your own path and ignore everybody else’s. It sounds cliché and obvious but it’s one thing for someone to tell you something and one thing for you to come to terms with it on your own. Once you start going down your own true path, you find those who have paths that intertwine, and it’s natural and easy…you meet the people who are meant for you, and everything falls into place.
It’s been almost a year since I started this blog. One day, I felt like I had hit rock bottom. I didn’t know what else to do other than pray and ask for guidance on what to do next. I listened to a little voice who told me to just stop, surrender, and do what was right for me despite what anyone else thought or said. I knew that I’ve loved to write for as long as I can remember. I knew that I had a lot to say and regardless whether people liked what I had to say or not, maybe I could help or inspire someone else who knows what it’s like to feel lost and alone. I thought maybe if I could just help one other person, it would be worthwhile. And even if I couldn’t, at least I would be spending more time doing what I love to do.
I feel like everybody knows the right answer at the end of the day. We’re just stubborn creatures who don’t even want to listen to our own inner voice and we go about our daily lives instead, listening to what our ego says rather than what our soul wants for us.